It's my first day being newly unemployed today. Didn't
feel too bad but that doesn't mean I didn't spend a lot of the day worrying. In fact my anxiety is constant and I need to get something to give me even a little break from it, some diazepam or something similar.
My worries are the usual ones but mainly worried about moving, getting a new job and my health. My anxiety is always there to fill in the gaps when I'm not worrying about those things.
Worry, worry, worry. It never ends. Things I need to do to help make my anxiety better
1. Diazepam or something similar (short-term measure)
2. Exercise
3. Job
4. Relaxation/Meditation (long term)
5. Humour (don't forget to laugh)
6. Socialise (get out more)
Monday, 7 December 2009
Thursday, 5 November 2009
Take Control !
I'm having a good day today and I need to write down why even if I did 'worry' temporarily that I'm babbling, but if I'm the only person reading this, and this blog is to help me then why the hell should I care if 'm babbling? Even if I'm not the only person reading this I shouldn't care, I'm not doing anyone any harm !
I've realised that anxiety has competely taken control of my mind and therefore my life. The worry has basically rendered me useless, completely debilitated me, I've been unable to do the simplest of tasks. It has taken a while to get to this point, it's been a slow and painful journey.
So today I realised the only way to get better is to reverse the process. I realise it will take as long to get back to the way I was when I was healthy as it did to get to this point.
In un-doing the damage anxiety has done I've realised I've got to take back control. I've felt more and more controlled by my anxiety and anxious thoughts (and later depression) as time has gone on to the point where I didn't feel like doing anything except sleep. I've been hiding from life and cowering to my over-lord and master, anxiety.
But today I decided to start this blog. That simple act alone has flipped a switch, it has motivated me. Once I started the blog and wrote something I then decided to clean up, do some laundry, go to the opticians, book my car in for a repair. One action led to another. It is through action I believe (and many psychologists) that people get better, not sitting around thinking "why do I not feel good?".
So go do something small (I'd suggest putting on some uplifting music as a start, as a backdrop for the other small things you may do) and start taking control back and you'll start to feel the haze lift.
I've realised that anxiety has competely taken control of my mind and therefore my life. The worry has basically rendered me useless, completely debilitated me, I've been unable to do the simplest of tasks. It has taken a while to get to this point, it's been a slow and painful journey.
So today I realised the only way to get better is to reverse the process. I realise it will take as long to get back to the way I was when I was healthy as it did to get to this point.
In un-doing the damage anxiety has done I've realised I've got to take back control. I've felt more and more controlled by my anxiety and anxious thoughts (and later depression) as time has gone on to the point where I didn't feel like doing anything except sleep. I've been hiding from life and cowering to my over-lord and master, anxiety.
But today I decided to start this blog. That simple act alone has flipped a switch, it has motivated me. Once I started the blog and wrote something I then decided to clean up, do some laundry, go to the opticians, book my car in for a repair. One action led to another. It is through action I believe (and many psychologists) that people get better, not sitting around thinking "why do I not feel good?".
So go do something small (I'd suggest putting on some uplifting music as a start, as a backdrop for the other small things you may do) and start taking control back and you'll start to feel the haze lift.
Unbelievable
I find it astonishing how often anxious thoughts now enter my head, in the most trivial of situations, not situations that warrant any sort of anxious repsonse.
For example, today I pulled into a petrol station and started filling up. Then the thought struck me "Oh no, should I fill up the tank completely or just half fill it?" and caused me a fleeting moment of anxiety. There's absolutely no need to worry in such a situation because it doesn't make any damn difference whether I fill it or not, I know that on a logical, rational level. But something deep down in my psyche decided it was something to worry over, at least temporarily.
That said, I have had a good day, I'm just thinking "fuck it", "I don't care" any time an anxious thought enters my mind. I just don't care about being worried any more, at least that's what I'm telling myself. And the mind is a powerful thing so if I keep telling myself "I don't give a crap" when the anxious thoughts enter my head then hopefully I'll start to believe it.
It does seem to be helping too, every time I have an anxious thought if I immediately follow it up with "who the fuck cares?" (or something along those lines) then it seem to take the power out of the anxious thought.
I'll keep practising ....
For example, today I pulled into a petrol station and started filling up. Then the thought struck me "Oh no, should I fill up the tank completely or just half fill it?" and caused me a fleeting moment of anxiety. There's absolutely no need to worry in such a situation because it doesn't make any damn difference whether I fill it or not, I know that on a logical, rational level. But something deep down in my psyche decided it was something to worry over, at least temporarily.
That said, I have had a good day, I'm just thinking "fuck it", "I don't care" any time an anxious thought enters my mind. I just don't care about being worried any more, at least that's what I'm telling myself. And the mind is a powerful thing so if I keep telling myself "I don't give a crap" when the anxious thoughts enter my head then hopefully I'll start to believe it.
It does seem to be helping too, every time I have an anxious thought if I immediately follow it up with "who the fuck cares?" (or something along those lines) then it seem to take the power out of the anxious thought.
I'll keep practising ....
And so it begins...
As this is my first post I suppose I could start by providing some background information about what Generalised (or Generalized if you're American!) Anxiety Disorder actually is.
A good overview is available on this site (which I am on quite regularly)
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/anxiety/
In my case my GAD has led to me becoming depressed which is quite common. However, complicating factors in my life recently also haven't helped.
A good overview is available on this site (which I am on quite regularly)
http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/anxiety/
In my case my GAD has led to me becoming depressed which is quite common. However, complicating factors in my life recently also haven't helped.
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